The Book Tower

You may be familiar with my recent frustration on discovering that Microsoft Vista is incompatible with my beloved home wireless network. This is at least what it says on the tin of my new computer, and on various pieces of paper inside the packaging that fluttered out when I opened it. But I decided to open up the tin and have a go anyway.

And this is what’s so crazy about the whole thing.

People spend hundreds of pounds on a brand new computer and are then expected to wrench it open and stick a card inside if they want to use a wireless network. It’s like selling somebody a SatNav and expecting them to open up the bonnet of their car and weld it on somewhere. And it’s a card so delicate looking that you’re frightened to breath near it through fear of damaging it.

People have a tendency to walk into the room when I’m doing things like this, and I guess that sight of me pulling a computer to pieces is pretty scary. Especially when I’m swearing loudly when the wireless desktop card won’t easily fit in where it’s supposed to. Ever looked inside a computer recently? It’s exactly the same as inside a stereo circa 1979 – a home made feel to it with cardboard and elastic bands and things stapled together that possibly couldn’t work if an electric current were to pass through them. No wonder it was so light.

I’ve progressed in leaps and bounds with Microsoft Vista. The wireless desktop card fitted after I’d removed part of it, something I had to do to get the lid back onto the tin. And it still worked. Even without first installing the software supplied on the CD and ignoring the warnings that failing to do so would destroy two thirds of the universe. It still goddamm worked.

I’m a Vista expert now. So much so that I’ve moved on to fancy peripherals, like a round leather mouse mat and a hat three sizes too big because “I’m getting better with computers”. I’m getting a wireless mouse next. I’m left handed, which causes terrible trouble with our wires.

Is that how you spell “goddamm”?