The Book Tower

Computers computers computers. Who could be doing with them?

My mother recently decided that she really didn’t want to join the silver surfer brigade and asked me if I’d like to have her recently acquired computer. I was sad she hasn’t embraced technology, especially the web. But I was also, perhaps selfishly, excited at the prospect of inheriting a decent set of hardware. For the record, we have a rather eccentric set up at home. Two laptops, one of which is officially my wife’s work computer, both connected – after much huffing and puffing – to a wireless router. Along comes my Mum’s computer and along comes problems.

Two words. Windows Vista. Or, more fittingly, fucking Microsoft. After hauling boxes and monitors down the stairs and hurriedly connecting it all together in a scene that resembled Doctor Who at his most manic on a day when the Tardis isn’t working too well, I was suddenly faced with my horrible problem. One that even a Sonic Screwdriver might not fix. My beloved wireless router does not work with Windows Vista. Fucking Microsoft.

Further problems when the wireless router, perhaps feeling a bit miffed at the new imposter, decides to go bang. Well, pop really. I spend a frantic evening visting PC World, Comet, John Lewis and others only to be laughed out of every store because only a fool would expect to find a fifteen volt adapter in an electrical shop. Okay I can put this on hold, but I can’t get away from the fact that even when I do get to plug my router in again it will not work with Windows Vista. Visits to forums give me dark and dangerous alternatives:

1. Install Windows XP on the new computer to replace Vista or, more chillingly, install XP alongside Vista
2. Find a new router which will work with Vista
3. Hang around for a bit until a solution reveals itself. After all, this problem must be affecting other people

To these I say:

1. This is the route to madness, and I may end up with -as they say in forums – a paperweight
2. Impossible
3. I want my new computer now

Solutions always come with time. Want to know what I’ve done? Well, our home networking has just got that little bit more eccentric. Think of Doctor Who on a really bad day when the Tardis has been in pieces and reassembled several times and both the Time Lord, his current assistant and Captain Jack Harkness have all had their heads in their hands. Thanks to the wonderful Maplin I found a replacement adapter and brought the wireless router back to life. With several extra cables and USB extensions I have connected the new computer and monitor to the laptop. What’s amazing is that it works – and you can guess which frantic scene from which popular family sci-fi show our kitchen resembles. I’ve saved the universe again.

Fucking Microsoft. And I bet Vista won’t let you download iTunes.